The earth is not a cold, dead place

Think I got a little bit carried away in the previous post. There was just a torrent of thoughts and I wanted to let everything out.

Anyway, this is a new stage of my life for me. It’s not a new start; more like a new floor. And I think there is little point to what i’ve written in the previous post.

It’s hard for me to be like this normally, because at this time of the night, I feel a great sense of solitude. The world is asleep, and I am awake, alone, free. These are the times when I truly find my true inspiration and reasons to live my life. There is nothing to keep up with, nothing at all.

My intentions for Australia was to leave everything behind, to do some soul searching, to recuperate and let go of everything. That would still happen, despite my trip being halved, but differently.

And tonight, when I’m truly me, I’d like to say that I can’t be me just yet, and I am growing to be me. Quoting Anne Rice (thank you Sarah) ‘None of us really change over time, we just become more fully what we are.’

And I am not full just yet, I am far from complete. I’m sorry, Ying Xin, and everyone for how I’ve been. I cannot explain myself to be fully understood and I’ve stopped trying. I would perhaps, have the chance again to prove it.

I look forward to the day this happens.

Goodnight everyone, be seeing all of you. I’ve left this blog open.


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