This is an idea.
There never was a purpose to this trip.
The purpose of this trip is to find purpose.
Yeah tears are trickling down my cheek again. I tear easily.
Also my cheeks are flushed and they look really good hahahaha I love the cold, except when I’m freezing which is all of the time but I still love it.
I should probably get some sleep. Kungfu Panda 2 is actually a brilliant show. That whole inner peace thing – there’s more to it than just humor. Took me a while to figure that out.
So I thought about posting my 7 posts of my stay in Australia, but then suddenly I’ve decided not to. It’s this sudden stir of different thoughts and emotions that compels me to share/write anything.
I mean, the trip’s been freaking amazing, and life changing clearly. I’ve pretty much met the objectives of this trip within the first week of stay and I’ve another week left. It’s kind of my perfect getaway.
And no one’s here.
Nobody. No one from Singapore.
Fuck, it’s really good.
I am away and alone, quite like the solitary person I’ve always wanted to be. And I’ve a really good friend here, and an aunt (family) who are extremely religious yet open minded and caring and welcoming and generous (she gave me $200 AUD and I spent it putting my receipt at $572, $272 over my limit).
But most importantly I have environment, resources, people. There are people from everywhere around the world, and they’re nice. There are people you could talk to in the streets, strangers whose name you don’t need to know. There are the right people and the right sources of influences and knowledge that you can seek, always at it’s best with the freedom it has. There is space, there is harmony, there is life.
This is something right here. This.. New life.
And I am going back. Soon.
So I think I’ll keep this amazing trip within the walls of my mind. Let it be valuable, and let it be an individual.
Oh no this is bad it is really baaaaaaaad.
Things are starting to lose substance around me. Like, my insights, perspectives, some values, and most importantly the people around me. I don’t know how to say it. Perhaps it’s some sort of enlightenment or something, or a new level into the knowledge I’ve been seeking. But it’s like, suddenly, the things i’ve spoken of before and the things I’ve discussed and wholeheartedly expressed, they’re losing value.
Bad, this is bad.
I cried. Well, just tears really. I got lost at this amazingly big (and cheap) shopping centre.
But no I didn’t start tearing because of that. The tears were shed for a much deeper meaning. I decided to heed the advice of my aunt and went to a ‘lecture’ by an American scholar, who is a Muslim.
He spoke of purpose in life and all the usual stuff, but what struck me was how he managed to grazed the surface of how religion and intellect goes hand in hand – that totally impelled me into his lecture.
He spoke of true nature, of purpose, of living lives, of giving etc, and while I would normally just push aside these sort of talks/lectures into the too-general/not-specific side, I didn’t this time round. I listened hard to try and understand and figure out what he knows and how he could help me through whatever I am going through.
And it was amazing, but I left without saying a word to him because you know how wisdom attracts people and everyone was trying to get a piece of him. What was I to do, go to him and tell him I feel alone and I’m not rooted into the religion? I’d be stealing his and everyone’s time.
All in all it was good, I thought about many things. And I broke into tears because.. All the things he spoke of – sincerity, reward, hardship, life, money, people, judgement, and most impressively intellect.
So from yesterday’s amazing ferry trips through the enormously huge bays if Sydney, today seems pretty relaxed.
Woke up, breakfast – cookies, bagels, English tea with the temperature at ~ 15 degrees. Sat down to read my book, while thinking about how I could leave my life in Singapore for this.
Lunch’s pretty amazing too. Aunt made lasagna with minced beef and it tastes REALLY good. Going to meet Yi Ling again and shop a bit. I’m surprised at how comfortably easy it was to be around her despite the fact that we haven’t spoken much before.
Nothing much today, just shopping. Gliding and Blue Mountains soon ~