There is the unwillingness to write anymore, for you could say that I’ve always lost the moment, and eventually the feel. My limited cornucopia of words essentially drains the vital energy that I use to write frequently, and this has only happened quite recently. But anyhow, I should respect my decision then to keep writing and get better and I thought I might blog about some recent glimpses of light that flashes across my mind within.
Recent events have allowed me to re-evaluate myself, and encouraged me to seek the genius that has laid idle in me for 20 years; for everyone has a genius in them, a bard or sage that seeks a voice, and yet we silence them without a doubt or guilt because they are ours.
Humans are by no means any better than the dinosaurs that have now been completely wiped off the surface of the earth. We speak of evolution and of intelligence, and we think we are the most capable beings for change and that this world is ours to live and dominate. Yet we are equally incapable of saving ourselves, much less this planet. Simply because we refuse to accept ourselves. Ne te quaesiveris extra – seek yourself within yourself, and not in the lustre of firmaments of the bards and sages of our time.
We use people like we use objects, but what makes it morally right for us to objectify people is the fact that we can twist perspectives like we twist words, and we can create illusions and delusions. We are intelligent like that. We comply to collective selfishness and we glorify what others glorify. Surely, as long as it is charged emotionally positively, and if it is mutually beneficial, there can’t be anything wrong with using anyone now, can there?
Yet, when I claim to be objectifying people, there is an alienated disgust in the response of people towards me, as if it is wrong. What are you frustrated about, really? That I not share the same perspective as you? The simple and most underlying fact is – we use people and everything else that can take a form to our advantage.
We use and we make use. That’s the cycle of life. It is a vicious cycle, and I think that the great man is he who can make use of anything he wishes to, for in this world he answers to nothing but his genius and his morality.
Has my moral compass taken a serious hit? I have made use, at an incredibly alarming amount, of people to do my bidding – this I will admit. I have taken advantage of people’s perspectives, and their ignorance, and I have done so much with it; you would hate me if you knew. The less intelligent could make use of the intelligent ones to do their bidding simply because he is more aware.
But in all this, every human seeks only to have control; he who has control of his genius and his mind controls all light. Except you don’t control your mind; it controls you.
This is me, answering to my genius. My mind tells me that everything is disposable. It tells me that life comes and life goes; you may shed a tear, but you should never shed your heart. For this life is only temporary; we are only human. There is a greater purpose in all of this, a higher calling. Why do you cry at the loss of another’s life? It is not yours. Do you cry because he now cannot live his, as you haven’t been with yours?
This is me, answering to my genius. At some point in everyone’s lives we arrive at the conviction that envy is ignorance, and that imitation is suicide. We were made to deliver our genius to the world, yet for most people, their deliverance does not deliver. For they imitate, and they live otherwise. The world is a painful place to live in, but the pain of others is not yours to bear.
This is me, answering to my genius. I have shunned mother, father, and my loved ones in response to my genius. They pain; this is not what they want of me. But this is what I want of me, and to live – it is subjective. For at the end of the road, you deliver what others cannot deliver. You deliver an invaluable you, and I believe everyone will now bow to you; how have you done it?
My concern in all these is how much pain I have caused others. My current best friend is one whom I’ve made use of, yet he stuck around me – why, I do not know. And then I learned that this is how every fibre in our body, and our atoms (which are that of the universe) get interconnected with another. It just happens; we do not seek it.
Your genius is an incredible gift; you cannot hear what I say until it is yours. And if it is yours, then you need not seek anything in this world. Everything will come to you. You will lose your genius if you keep it shut for too long, and 20 years is long. But when you answer to it, every other thought that you may need just comes to you; you need not seek any other thought.
This is me, answering to my genius. And it says, sleep. A way to make everyone answer to their own geniuses will come soon.