Deception

Deception is only unforgivable if it is incomplete. Leave any access for doubt, for exposure, bad revelations, and then you’re much more than failing – you’re committing a type of delayed assault. Be utter and undetected and then no forgiveness will ever be required.

The man’s job is to be the perfect liar, because that’s what his audience needs. Blood, words, skin, face, eyes, breath, bone – he must lie in his entirety. His job is to be a window into their own minds, and not his own; that would be devastating.

There are times, when in trouble, people tend to look to us, helplessly drowned in their own  darkness, and all they seek is light. There are times, when you have no answer, and you feel that your only way is to perhaps help with their environment. Yet, occasionally, your efforts are useless and uninspired. You’ve helped with chores, changed their environment, lent a listening ear, gave them your shoulder to cry on, yet your efforts have been for naught when you realize – it’s not helping.. It is apparent, though, that the only way is to help them with their problems.

But you don’t know how to. And we tell them:

It doesn’t matter.
It’s all right.
There’s no need to worry.
You’ll be fine. It’ll all be fine. You’ll be all right. 

You didn’t necessarily have to believe that these things were true, but they seemed constructive, padded out uneasy pauses and have been quite the distraction. But you understand this pain, because more often than not, you’re an understanding person.

All you’ve done is attempted to lighten a mood when no positive information was to hand – so you’ve made something up on your own, built it out of pure optimism and the eagerness to please, and if you thought of it as music or art rather than meaning, you’ve been able to absolve yourself for passing on information that’s false. And if the information is good – that it has good intentions – then it might end up becoming true. Any word can work a spell if you know how to use it.

Honesty has it’s savage side – you’re well aware, frankly, that it wouldn’t be your first or last option. The fabrications of kindness, of courtesy, optimism: they’re necessary – and more often than not, in pressured circumstances, there have been occasions when you haven’t been utterly accurate in what you’ve said.

This can feel ugly and uncomfortable and self-defying – you have integrity, and dishonesty doesn’t suit you. But nobody is fastidious all the time: anyone can be scared off from the edges of truths. And if, in such cases, you did something that is completely unlike you – a word, a thought, an act, or a total mistake – that it would describe you differently, or that it would mislead others into seeing you for someone else, then a deception might be called for, a silence might be justified.

But, what if you’re simply finding a way to express and practice your dreams? To let them play, sharing. Surely, this must be pure and harmless.

The friends, the family, the loves, the ones who know you: they can see through to your heart and soul regardless of what you tell them. So your lies can become some fantasies that you’d share and they’d enjoy it – secrets that join you close to them, and helps them enlarge their definitions of who you are – your lies as a person being dependably diagnostic and independent.

I would not use the term lies, though – that’s too harsh a term. When you study yourself thoroughly, you know that you’re better than that, than a liar. You’ve probably only avoided being truthful, pedantic, when it would hurt somebody – somebody including yourself – and what is wrong with that? Self-defense is nothing shaming.

It’s an indication of your moral sensitivity that sometimes, you’re entirely human and you can feel ashamed.

I have been, in the course of my life, occasionally erred, drifted, been too instinctive. Not everyone would admit this.

There were also days when I’ve said true things even though it would hurt. But I’ve withstood the injury. I could make myself admired for it, but instead I don’t talk about it.

For this, I always give people my middle ground – reveal the parts that won’t make me vulnerable, say the things that won’t truly matter, voice an opinion that is not purely reflective of my inner beliefs. And occasionally, I’ve revealed slightly more, sometimes driven by belief – erroneous, as I am – and revealing a window into myself.

It pains, especially when you’ve windowed yourself at the wrong part of your internal universe.

Why then, is deception unacceptable? It’s perfectly fine, I think. It means nothing.

 

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