Who are we to one another?
To what extent are we defined by our circumstance, and what comes after?
The past week has been revolving around me being in school much more often – catching up and studying with my university friends, except for the one to two perpetually busy ones, and how I’ve missed them. I’ve not spent much time with them over the past 2 months, between my internship and climbing sessions, and I suppose these 2 weeks of break have been pretty incredible. Funny thing, this group of friends. I’m not sure if they know this but we were all (10 of us) sorta put together by design. Even then, I wouldn’t go so far as to give all the credits to design.
I chased after one of them, accosted 2 others, was somehow in the same group with 2 others, and somehow, one by one, we picked each other up through the course of our first year. Now there’re 10 of us. Real relationships have been destroyed, insecurities have been exposed and many truths remain unspoken. And yet, despite these, I think we’re going to be more than university friends.
I don’t think they know that I know things. I suppose we are all barrelled with demons of our past – some more than others – and yet, for some particular reason we’ve made the decision to choose to be friends despite some very strong opposites in character. Which begs the question – how the help is this entire thing working?
There’s one guy who has carried the weight of the expectations of his family of scholars and intellectuals for a great 20+ years He’s in a relationship with someone of different religion, and yet despite his mental and spiritual freedom, there are several impenetrable problems that can only be solved by compromise. Even then, it’s not a compromise to be considered lightly. He’s a genius though; incredibly retarded. He has a problem, though, that is, he lives in between his mind that I think is beautiful, and a harsh reality that he is struggling with.
There are several other people who has gone through things I would probably never have to experience in my life, but their pasts are not mine to share. It’s incredible how little pockets of silent moments that we share with people can tell us so much about each other. And to this extent, the little pockets of moments we have with random people are equally incredible.
To my friends, although you’d probably never see this, I might sometimes behave and indulge myself in unusual mannerisms that come off wrongly, but there is always a bigger picture in our minds and in our hearts. I suppose that is how we generally genuinely care for other people. I apologise that I am extremely self-centred; even the essence of this group of friends that we share many things in common stem from my self-centredness. There is always a bigger picture, and it always starts with someone seeing it, even if that someone isn’t you. Let’s see where we go.
P.S. I really need help with econometrics.
Well I’m home. Was writing this on the way back so I best get to things I need to do. Guess I’ll continue this another time. Work tomorrow, more planning more studying more wushqgsgsushegeufhfieisjcjdifieurhwud and the USD is giving me a headache.